Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
