VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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