i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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