it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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