Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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