First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
someone owes me an orgasm
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize