I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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