when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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