Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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