Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
