He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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