i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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