Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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