mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
