on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
