i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
