I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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