East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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