I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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