Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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