I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
