Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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