He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize