oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize