his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
