ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
