I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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