So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Screwed.edu
and she was petting her beer can
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
