Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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