all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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