Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
