i would punch a child for taco bell
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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