shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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