the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
