careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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