Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
