When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
