Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize