We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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