I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
