If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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