Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
