I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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