wanna go halves on a baby?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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