I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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