Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

My sheets look like a crime scene.

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(239): View more from Florida

Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.

Fav 1 1207 709
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(210): View more from Texas

I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

Fav 20 1358 6190
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(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

Fav 10 6193 1673
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Except there is my pee all over the walls now

Fav 11 783 1886
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"

Fav 5 1368 955
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(614): View more from Ohio

I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.

Fav 8 1449 625
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.

Fav 0 11 36
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for

Fav 0 96 7
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