matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
love makes seman taste better
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN