whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?