In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...