Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.