yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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