Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing