At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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