so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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