i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
