I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
