barbara walters just said penis...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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